You cannot love a person you don't really know

This is the perfect time to talk about this.

A lot of people can only have a successful relationship as long as someone within it is ignorant to who the other is, the truth about their past, and past deeds. Just like when it comes to me, a person cannot say they know me without knowing about all of this. My past and the things within it shaped me to be who I am today. You cannot know where I come from, how much I've grown, and how my character has been defined if you don't know about my brokenness. I have very little to be ashamed about and God willing, even in my ignorance, mistakes and bad decisions did not alter my life for the worst.

The main reason we seek out relationships is because we want and need something. Whether that's love, acceptance, companionship, sex, or ease at life. When a person wants and/or needs something, there is always going to be an incentive to lie to get what they want. This is why you'll never get the full truth about who a lot of people are. Ignorance is the very foundation that a lot of people have built their house on.

This truth is the main reason why I have overcome a lot of things in my past, including this.

Let the world tell it, one is better than the other because one has the man while the other is still single. The world views things as competitions and relationships usually determine the winner. One is not better than the other, I am not less than because he did not decide to make things work with me. The truth in this situation is that I knew him and she didn't. While I was around him and got to witness his deeds up close throughout the entirety of high school, she was a freshman when she met him. She was new, knew nothing, and he took advantage of that ignorance.

When a person is ignorant to the past deeds of someone, they have control over the narrative and spin things in a way that best suits them. When somebody comes trying to warn that person, it easily gets flipped to seem as if the warning is coming from a liar or someone who is just jealous. In some cases, people are lying, in other cases people are telling the truth. This is something most end up finding out the hard way and after years of already getting invested and building a life with that person.

While it is easy for someone else to be "in love" and be with that person, I would've never had that same experience. Not because I am less than, not because I am not good enough to have a man, simply because I knew the truth.

While it's easy to get caught up in what is being portrayed in the today, this does not change the basis of how a person's relationship started. While it is seemingly good for one, I would have not found the same happiness and excitement. This would've been the worst mistake of my life had he succeeded in getting what he wanted. This was and is not how I'd want to start a family nor be introduced to motherhood. There would not have been any trust had a relationship happened and the differences between us would've made things insufferable. The fact that he was willing to attempt pregnancy under these circumstances shows just how selfish he was and how nothing was lost with him not being in my life.

While this is something that I once mourned, it's not a year that goes by where I don't think about this at least once and trust, I count this as one of my biggest blessings from God.

Written: April 11th, 2026