Power and beauty of being a Godly woman:

written: October 15th, 2023

Through my pastor, I am learning what a real woman is and the power that resides in being a God-fearing, God-led woman.

[ We're witnessing it now, aren't we :) ]

Before God, I thought I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, or possessed any qualities that would make a man want to settle down with me and be satisfied in comparison to other women. I am not ugly, but I was never committed to advancing my looks, especially to try being sexy. I like to be cute and presentable, not a walking sex magnet. But, with society being so sex and looks driven, how can a man look past, and don't care, about all of this other stuff walking around, and want my, "plain and inexperienced self?"

Growing up, and even as an adult now, I have constantly seen men chasing behind and choosing women simply because she looked good enough to arouse them. Plain and good typically get overlooked and pushed aside for a woman that wants men panting over her like a lion starving for a piece of meat. I have been learning that we are not supposed to be lusted over. Living for and serving God is worth more than a random, useless, good for nothing man dwindling down your womanhood to JUST looks and what's in between our legs. I knew I wasn't meant to be loose, but when I was constantly overlooked and less favored for "sexy" and attention seeking, how do I find and receive love in the midst of this?

I've been realizing the power and strength of being sound in self, loving yourself, and your source of solidification being God. Nobody can compare or even come close to giving you the love and fullness he can.

As a woman, there is beauty and strength in not constantly going about your day-to-day life seeking and needing validation from people, especially men.

There is beauty in men KNOWING you're not cheap and that they have to be at a certain standard to stand a chance with you. There is power in a men knowing that you can't be bought with money, attention, or flattery. Lot of women build themselves up and/or are built up by others based off stupid things. What we deserve and what one man won't do, the next man will. What one man didn't appreciate, the next will, as if honest to God good men are so easy to come by. What's so nice and special about having so many options when none of them are of any quality?

Seeking attention and using your body to get it, that only results in men who're just looking to get in something and string you along in the process.

Through God and my pastor, I am learning that decent men do exist. I don't have to take my clothes off to grab or keep anybody's attention. Keep dignity always.

Peace, that is the answer:

Something I wrote in August 2024

There's peace in having peace. I've always said and knew what I didn't want and what I am not looking for [sex, attention, praise, good looks, etc.] but I never knew what it was that I needed and wanted until recently. If I end up in a relationship, I want to be able to keep the peace and sanity that I have now. I am happy, content, and very loved. My mind is in a good place and I am no longer confused in any sense. I don't compete anymore, I don't get jealous about things anymore. My confidence is not easily wavered anymore because of another woman.

I know enough now to know that any man that would actually like me, is going to because of who I am as a woman: mind, soul, and heart first. Being crafted by God himself, I am very blessed and yes, a man would be a fool to pass something like this up. HOWEVER, I am also aware that the average man is not capable of recognizing that, yet alone knowing how to properly treat me.

I learned that you cannot properly build a decent relaitonship constantly worrying about the wrong stuff. Who he's talking to when you're not around, constantly questioning where he's at, being insecure and overbearing. Just like I don't need to act like that, I also have to be with a man that won't have me going back to that.

---> Don't be with a man who's behavior and lack of self control will have me losing my peace and sanity. Knowing that keeping my peace and keeping God first are my top 2 priorities, it is truly better to be alone until/unless someone matches what i need and vice versa.