Knowledge gave a changed perspective:

A conversation that needs to be had in full honesty and one that offers a definitive example as to why we should take the time to properly get over people, is how social media makes it harder for the past to stay the past. It's a lot easier now to check up on and keep up with people who are no longer in our lives, and if you haven't properly dealt with what you needed to, old wounds can easily open back up just by scrolling online and coming across something. Social media is now a "necessary" part of relationships, and you can easily see how someone's life is progressing with the next person. It's common to see love being portrayed, witnessing them giving gifts, going on vacations together, writing out paragraphs talking about how much they mean to each other, and doing the things that you may have had to beg for and never really got.

For example, once upon a time when I was into watching and following people on TikTok, there was an influencer that I kept up with who did "bro" content in the gym. His videos were centered around him and his friends having fun at the gym in the middle of working out and this is what they built their brand around. During this time, he had a girlfriend that was known and seen at times, but she wasn't the center of his content. Of course, they eventually broke up. Not too long ago, I got curious about what's been going on with them, and he is currently in a relationship with another, far more popular "influencer". To no surprise, his posts are more about his relationship. They even did a "hard launch" of the relationship and announced their relationship with a miniature movie reel. Where his ex was probably begging to get posted and included more, here he is effortlessly making another woman the focus of his content.

Some people may say it's because one is better than the other, treats him better, blah blah blah... yeah, whatever.

This is my "what could've been story". Knowledge shaped my perspective to see things more logically and in truth instead of emotionally and the way the world twists things.

Back in my early 20s (and mind you 2026 I am now 29), somebody that I had no business being involved with wanted to trap me with a baby. THANK GOD that did not happen! While in conversation and action, he was 100% certain that this was what he wanted to do at that time, he eventually chose to work things out with his baby momma/ on-off again girlfriend and had another kid with her. If I am not mistaken, this was within a year of that. He didn't put in any real effort with me besides saying multiple times that he wanted to get me pregnant and trying. No attempt at a relationship, no attempt to keep me in his life the right way. No real plan, no thoughts, no discussions, just actions. Meanwhile I got to witness him loudly showing off and being happy with his on-again girlfriend and posting about their pregnancy.

Of course, I was hurt from that and felt a way. At that time, I believed I was witnessing another woman live the life I THOUGHT I wanted, with the man I THOUGHT I wanted to be with. Lot of times when we get to witness a person from our past having a more successful life and relationship with someone else, there can be a sense of wondering how it could've been with you had you made different decisions. Maybe you could've had a similar experience, maybe the lack of success was your fault, maybe this... maybe that. Something I wrote that I recently read, "what it was going to be with you, it was."

Now let's take things back to where I originally met this person, high school.

I had the pleasure of being around him and having an up close and personal view of who he was, and how he moved in relationships. He was a player who sought to sleep with as many people as possible, this was a well-known fact. If there were a pair of legs open, 9/10 he was in it. One year it was known that he had a girlfriend that he was consistently cheating on with someone who had no shame about being a sidepiece. The following year, I ended up having a culinary class with this same girlfriend, now ex, who was still messing with him. I got a front row seat to her experience and how he'd lead her on, say all of these things, but then be messing with and dating other women. Senior year, it was the same story with a whole new set of women. He was always somebody that kept several eggs in numerous baskets. There came a time where he turned his attention to me, possibly trying to run the same game. I knew enough to know not to fall for it, but also falling into that trap of feeling like I'm missing out on something because everybody else is having sex and constantly talking about it.

There was a part of me that cared and wanted to see him change, believing in my ignorance that age would make a difference. Whether he changed later on in life or not, it is unlikely that I would've ever trusted or fully accepted him.